Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called “RushHour”?
If flying is so safe, why do they called the airport “Terminal”?
Why do we use the word “politics” to describe the process of government?…..”Poli” in Latin means “many”, “tics” means “blood sucking creatures”.
Why do drug stores make the sick walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while the healthy can get their pack of cigarettes at the front?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke?
Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic wins lottery”?
Why do the man who invest all your money called “broker”?
————————————————–
There are certain things we need to know in life. If you want to know about these secrets, click open the .pdf file below:
there-are-few-things-which-perhaps-we-didn.pdf
……………………………………………………………………………..
Test for demetia
If you answer these 5 questions incorrectly, you need to see a doctor – you have dementia!
Answer these questions instantly without thinking, OK. Otherwise it will not work for diagnosing dementia.
Q1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Q2. If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
Q3. This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Q4. Mary’s father has five daughters: 1 Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Q5. A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
Check out the answers:
1. If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely
wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
2. If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You’re not verygood at this, are you?
3. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
4. Did you answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
5. He just has to open his mouth and ask… It’s really very simple..
If you answer these 5 correctly, you are a person who have no fun at all!
……………………………………………………………………………….
Political Humour:
this is modified by a blogger Justin Choo, wise and philosophical. :
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IN THE FOREIGN SCENE:
BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MCCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….
GEORGE W. BUSH:We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.
BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ………. reboot.
BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.
________________________________
IN THE LOCAL SCENE:
K Y LEE:We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.
SEMI VELUE:Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.
NARJIS RAJAK:What chickens? I don’t know any chickens… especially those from Mongolia.
BADAR WEE:We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. …….. Zzzzzz …….zzzzzz ……. Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.
MAHA TAIL:Now even non-bumi chickens want to cross the road! How can they disrespect and disregard apa nama bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our special privilege and no one can challenge that
ANWAR:We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.
LIM KIT SIANG: Come September 16, don’t chicken out!
JUSTIN CHOO: Who cares why the chicken crossed the road so long as it was roasted.
MONSTERBALL: There are chickens of all shapes and sizes crossing the road. I’ve seen them all with and without feathers!
Dr HSU: All chickens crossing the road must be clean, honest, humble, cheerful, helpful, and have peace in their hearts!
ROMERZ: Chickens are harmless creatures. Let them cross the road without harming them!
May all chickens go to heaven!!
……………………………………………………….
Dear Dr Hsu,
Came to your blog by chance. Am really impressed, not only by your blog, but more so by the person behind! Will surely re-visit your blog more often.
Meanwhile, I’ve an item to contribute to your “Homour” (I am not sure you’d intentionally called it “Homour” instead of “Humour”, or was it a typo error?):
“If a vegetarian eats vegetable, what does a humanitarian eat?”
Cheers,
Teong Hock
By: Gan Teong Hock on June 27, 2007
at 3:07 pm
Hi Mr Gan, Thanks for pointing out the typo error.
Thank you for your kind words and your contribution to the Humour page.
A humanitarian eats… let me guess….:)
By: hsudarren on June 27, 2007
at 3:30 pm
I also stumble on your blog, just the first minutes, i am already very impressed !! THis collection of humour is really interesting.
Will certainly follow closely your blog .
Keep up your good work !
By: Koh Yat Chong on October 20, 2007
at 4:27 am
Hahaha! it was really fun reading your blog. especially the last part. my head hurts now haha.
By: Marco Dizo on October 22, 2007
at 8:23 pm
HA,HA HA ‘LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE ISN’T?KEEP IT UP PAL
By: DR SURESH KUMAR on April 11, 2008
at 2:35 pm
If you got 4100 for Q3, then I really must have acute dementia and should call for an appointment with you.
Caught this on the web. Someone asked what was the difference between now and 40 years ago?
Nowadays, a guy goes into a pharmacy and shouts, “Give me a box of condoms!” … and then whispers to the shop assistant, “Oh, and slip in a packet of Viagra, too.”
By: doggone on July 14, 2008
at 5:40 am
One right answer out of 5 , is that mean i fail? and need to go back to primary school for re-education, doc.
By: jeff on July 14, 2008
at 8:44 am
Recent scientific research conducted by climate scientist found that Al Gore’s inconvenient truth is over hype as our ocean doesnot rise anywhere close to 5 feets annually, n artic ice bergs do not
melt rapidly. They concluded that he is so inconvenient by global warming due to the fact that warmer weather outside will make him sweat more, hence decrease his weight which took him so much courage and strong-will determination to reach his present significant weight, that is the main reason for his quest to denounce carbon admission into atmosphere.
By: jeff on July 14, 2008
at 8:56 am
jeff, one out of five , you are still not demented. Only those who fail all five may become demented…hahaha…Dont take it too seriously… it is just to catch you..
By: Dr Hsu on July 14, 2008
at 10:11 am
thank!it is really reassuring especially from a doctor. Old mind is losing brain cell daily! Doc.
By: jeff on July 14, 2008
at 11:16 am
Thank God….comments at Justin blog….not included!
By: monsterball on September 6, 2008
at 3:43 pm
Dr I just got this in my email.
A prominent Malaysian woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex. And she was not sure if it was such a good idea.
The doctor asked, ‘Well do you ehjoy it?’
‘Actually, yes, I do in fact.’
‘Does it hurt you?’ he asked.
‘No. I do like it.’
‘Well, then,’ the doctor continued, ‘there’s no reason why you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you try not to get pregnant.’
The woman was mystified.
‘What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?’
‘Of course,’ the doctor replied.
‘Where do you think all our present politicians came from?
By: Meng on September 7, 2008
at 11:22 am
Another one
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the easiest patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from Singapore , says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered’
The second, from Bangkok , responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded.’
The third surgeon, from Bejing says, ‘No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’
The fourth surgeon, from Jakarta , chimes in: ‘You know, I like construction workers… those guys always understand when you have a few parts leftover.’
But the fifth surgeon, from KL , shut them all up when he observed: ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians from Malaysia UMNO are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable.’
By: Meng on February 19, 2009
at 10:41 am
Thanks Meng, for the jokes..
By: Dr Hsu on February 19, 2009
at 12:37 pm