A true sad story

This story has been circulating for some time, and I have thought that it was just a fictitious story.

I met a doctor colleague of mine and while chatting about the change in human behaviour, he told me that this story is true and it was from one of his class mates.

You all must be wondering what this story is about and many of you must have heard of it.

The doctor concerned, let us called him Dr John, saw an old lady one day, limping into his consultation room.

Apparently the old lady had a fall the night before the consultation. She had tripped on something on the floor and fell towards a rose wood chair in the living room, and the force was so great that the right knee was bruised and swollen.

The doctor noticed that the old lady had tears in the eyes and he tried to comfort her by saying that the injury was not major, and the swelling and the bruise as well as the pain would be gone in a couple of weeks. He wondered why an old lady would be on the brink of crying and he asked her whether the pain was really unbearable, in which case he was willing to give her a pain relieving injection.

The old lady answered that she could bear the pain and did not want any jab. So Dr John became even more curious and asked her why she was so upset.

With that , tears starting to roll down and between sobs , she told the doctor that after her fall, her daughter in law came charging towards her, not to help her up and enquired about her injury but rather, screamed at her that the rose wood chair costs a lot of money, and that she better be careful not to ruin the chair.

The doctor was shocked and asked the old lady how was the response of the son. She said that the son was out at that time, and she did not want to tell the son about the behaviour of the daughter-in-law because she did not want them  to start a quarrel over her. She was upset because this was her only son, and she really had no where else to go and she did not want to start a quarrel with the DIL.

I guess this lady’s son and daughter-in-law must be rich to have rose wood set in the living room. Despite their ‘richness’, I would say they have ‘poverty’ in their hearts.  What is material things compared to your own relations? Where are the  filial piety, sympathy and empathy that we pride ourselves as an Eastern Society? We had all these just a generation ago. .

I believe this story’s truthfulness, since I have personally come across   similar stories in my 30 years of medical practice.  Perhaps the old lady should have told the son what happened. Perhaps it is good to have a family discussion to thrash out the whole issue.

OUR  society has evolved into one that is more self-centred and there is certainly less respect to older people (READ my post yesterday on our social behaviour, which was  carried by MT).

In our haste to chase for material comfort, we have often neglected our relationship with our dear ones, and often taking our family for granted. Spiritual aspects are often neglected and perhaps it is also partly  the fault of the parents when they bring up their children.

On the other hands, the younger generations must realise that one day, age is going to catch up with them, and what happened to their parents will one day happen to them. What goes round comes around, and those of us old enough (in our fifties and sixties?) would have witnessed the truth of this saying time and again.

I will tell you another true story which I have personally come across in my patient and which I have given certain advice and the outcome was very much different from this case. I believe that there is still conscience inside our hearts no matter how tainted are our characters … And the next story will sort of confirm this..


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mccann105
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 12:44:13

    we live as we never grow old , we live as we never die .there are more horror stories if we spend sometime at some old folks home.if we dig deep enough the real cause is lack right instillation of good morals good values…we have below par educators ..the cause should be attended at the root level first


  2. Samson
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 13:29:27

    The young nowadays (the Internet Babies/Facebook Fubbies) have no time to think about getting old one day. They are either too busy with sms-ing, face-booking or twitterring with their friends and everyone else in cyber space, showing off and nothing much about what they are doing so more achievements means more kiasu-ism!

    What their parents sacrificed for them, from carrying them for 9 months, the sleepless nights caring for them when they had a fever, money spent on food, clothes (so they can look good), etc. is conviniently forgotten…as they use the opportunity given by parents (and many do not even have the same when they were younger) to leap frog in their careers and this they will insist is on their own merits…if they could not afford a college /uni education do you think they would be hired in the first place? For those uneducated and rose thru business, do you think without family connections behind them they would succeed?

    Mostly the brash and uncouth will never think of what their parents’ have sacrificed before and will continue in their ways until they fall sick or poor do they think of their parents again..

    Parents are also to blame when they are too busy sustaining their double incomes thinking they can give a better life to thier children and thus ignore thier children until too late. Buying the children expensive gifts will not seure their love later on as what goes round comes around.

    Hah! Not wanting to sound like an old fart…(I have no children yet)…people of this generation try to live in the fast lane but they end up being thrown off that highway anyway!


  3. pinsysu
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 15:45:46

    wat goes round comes around … the DIL will be repaid in FULL for wat she did to her MIL 1 fine day if she ever gets lucky or unlucky to be MIL of somebody …

    sad but this sort of story keeps repeating in different form. like this son asked his parents to transfer their house to his name & thereafter evicted the old folks … so u wonder why many married couples these day chose to keep cats or dogs huh?


  4. CYC
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 16:42:55

    We go round and round in the wheel of live unable to attain realisation of its nature or true form. We are chained to each other but choose to ignore the fact. Hence, we treat each other as enemy forgetting that we are chained to each other as long as we are alive. Our action affect other even though we may want to deny that being a fact.

    Are we strive to have a happy and wholesome life? Then, we must try harder to eradicate hatred and selfishness. Love will bound to follow you as you start to give and care for others.


  5. A true Malaysian
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 17:18:05

    When I read the title which begins with “A true…”, I thought this article was to write about me, “A true Malaysian”, but it was not, haha. Anyway, Dr. Hsu is not of someone who simply divulge anyone’s private life. I know him well enough, 😀

    When I read further, such true sad story troubled me, as my aged mum is living with my family as well. I count myself lucky to have understanding mother and wife.

    At time, such kind of mother-DIL relationship can be quite delicate especially for a son/husband to deal with, but if all parties are frank and open enough, such sad story would not have happened.

    Maybe we can learn something from the ” Ang Moh” (i.e.Westerners in Hokkien) in this area, as they are more open, frank and straight-forward in voicing out their views without any hesitation. We, Easterners may look at this as ‘blunt’, but to me, I don’t see it as such.

    Well, we need to give bad mannered people “a piece of our mind” if we need to. Why should we give “face” to them in the first place?


  6. disgusted
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 17:43:10

    Yes, whatever, there are more sad stories. I was told an 70-year old man who had a terminal illness decided to transfer his house to his sister. But when the man was hospitalised, the sister quickly put up a sign to sell the house and transfer the man to a old folks home. His children are also well-to-do but none of them wanted him to stay with him.


  7. DG
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 18:40:47

    Dr Hsu, PORR maybe revived, what is your take on the matter ?


  8. Dr Hsu
    Sep 17, 2009 @ 20:16:50

    I would first try to improve the public transport system , using a fraction of the money that is needed to build huge infrastructure.

    And I would push for a second bridge and a free looping free bus system within the city confine.

    The PORR project may be needed in future but it should only be after a thorough study by a truly independent professional third party which has no vested interest , and also after taking into considerations the various views by the NGOs on environmental impact.


  9. klm
    Sep 18, 2009 @ 10:56:06

    It is so sad to read this kind of unfilial behavior. Is the core of Chinese culture disappearing? The heart of Chinese culture is filial piety and respect for age and seniority. Looks like some of the women folks are breaking down this culture.


  10. mccann105
    Sep 18, 2009 @ 13:24:58

    lately we took taxi to the city instead of driving..considering the traffic jam nad expensive parkiing..we came across some experience..day one..at jalan ampang bank of china..to the curve…one taxi stopped asked us where we are going..he quoted us rm30 NO METER USE,…another we went into the taxi,.,n told where we want to go…he say he cant ..as his car not enough fuel ..???????/ then why are you picking us up..

    day 2..from kelana jaya l r t..there were about 5 taxis parked at the terminal.taxi drivers were talking and chatting…we asked them we want to go to tropicana city..one quoted us rm 15 ..?normal we pay about rm7 ..with the taxi fare increase..still many refused to use meter.last 2 weeks experience we noticed..there is significantly one race..the indian are the biggest crooks …no prejudices..just fact and direct experience.

    perhaps when one day you try,,,you know


  11. Atila
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 01:53:12

    what goes around, comes around.


  12. mayumi1019
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 13:41:55

    I think as I’ve read this tragic story that the young generation is in NEED of the virtue of KINDNESS….the young daughter in law I guess doesn’t know the value of kindness when she was in her younger days so that it explains why she is rude but then it will come around in circle someday for her. We should be reminded that what we sow we will reap it one day. Both the old lady and the daughter in law are victims of society where values and family relation is taken for granted. As a parent we should think and rear our children as best as we can…not for monetary reasons but for being the best person that they can be. The daughter in law just reflect the home where she came from…and sad to say that the old lady suffers from it. I think we should reflect that “the older saints who trust God’s Words Have trod the paths that you will walk; they fought the battles that we will fight-there’s truth and wisdom in their talk”, so lets be kind to one another for our time will come that we youth that we are will trod the path of those who walks the sunset years.


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