The following is not from me, but it was written by our reader, klm, and i think those who frequent this blog would have no problem recognising his genius.
He sent it to me but I thought I would share it with all of you out there, especially some of my readers are from Most Chaotic Association and this association is currently embroiled in endless fights and maneuvering :
This is the guide: (copyrighted to Mr klm)
About the author
The author is a member of the armchair politicians, people who talk and comment but never put into practice what they say. Nevertheless, the cockeyed view of an armchair politician put sense in the insane world of politics. Being out of the cauldron, armchair politicians see things better , and every now and then drop a gem or two of wisdom on the bewildered and frantic political scene.
With the cockeyed view from the arm chair, the author had drafted these set of survival rules ,written with cynicism, scepticism and every ism between. The hope of the author is that one or two good ambitious politicians ( or is that an oxymoron) can survive and do some good.
Politics is a spectator sport, much like a football game. For those new to this sport, this can also be the jungle guide. Unlike football, there are no play rules in politics, only survival rules.
Preamble
An (ambitious) politician is a seeker or holder of public or party office, who is more concerned about winning favor or retaining power than about maintaining principles- www.dictionary.reference.com . The Office is everything. An ambitious politician’s goal is to win the Office if not there or to defend the office if already there. An ambitious politician is a shark amongst other sharks. Surviving political fights is of the highest priority. An ambitious politician must have extremely strong self preservation instinct.
This survival guide is distilled from the observations made of the fights in political parties. It encompass things did or should have been done by politicians in their fights. The lessons learned formed the golden rules that ambitious politician should not leave home without them.
The golden rules are divided in three sections appropriately named :
- Survival rules for No.1 (of political party)
- Survival rules for No. 2 (of political party)
- Survival rules for No. 3 (and for other levels of political party)
Politics is not for the faint heart. If you have a misguided sense of honour, morality and loyalty and find it abhorring to follow these rules, then you are in the wrong place.
Maybe the force be with you and see you in the Office.
How to survive as No. 1.
Congratulation. You made it to be No. 1 of the party. Now, how long can you survive in this position. Keep your wits with you, keep your eyes in the front and back, top and below and follow these rules. You will be fine.
- The top priority of being No. 1 is to survive the battles within the party. Many of your “friends” in the party want you dead. With you gone, they will go up.
- In politics, winning is the only thing. A wounded politician is like a wounded shark. You will get devoured by your own kind.
- No weakness must be shown. You are in a school of sharks. . Any weakness is fatal. If you have to, sacrifice a colleague or two to save yourself.
- Your colleagues are not your friend. They are a bunch of sharks.
- Never trust any one fully. Not even your closest confidant. Always check with other sources, anything you are told.
- Ambitions in your colleagues are fine. But always watch for tell tale signs of ambition not in checked, especially your No 2 and No 3. etc.
- Be suspicious of everybody. If your No. 2 and No 3 are pals. Check them out. Be suspicious if your colleagues become friendly to each other all of a sudden. When they are friendly to each other, something bad for you is brewing. When they are invited to high teas without you, a bomb is going to be blown under your chair. Always be alert to No.3 causing a fight between you and No.2. This is the kill 2 old birds with one stone strategy.
- Put someone dumb in the No. 3 position. Then set No.3 to fight with No. 2. (That is why you need a dumb person). Then you will be left in peace.
- Because of 4,5,6 &7, always have something on your colleagues to keep them in line. Have a dossier prepared for everyone. A person without sin means either (a) person is very good at keeping secrets or (b) person is a saint. Either one means danger to you.
10. Always be ready to strike. But never show your hand until the moment you are ready to strike.
11. Never let people read your real feeling. The No. 1 is expected to be a good actor. Get on with it. It comes with the job.
12. Always give your respect and honour the other person, until the moment you strike. Respect is very important. If you must stab somebody in the back, do it with utmost respect.
13. Have spies everywhere to listen to your subordinates and enemies plotting. Make the wall have ears. This is your early warning system. Strike at them before they strike at you
14. Subvert the supporters of your subordinates and enemies. Secretly, get them to switch allegiance to you . Get them to spy for you. Get them to subvert these people.
15. When you strike, strike quickly. hard and strong. Brutality prevents others from trying to unseat you.
16. Never tolerate a rebellion. Crushed it with full might. Take no prisoners with the ring leaders. Treat their followers well and they will switch allegiance to you.
17. If you make a statement, make sure you can deny what you said. This is called plausible deniability. If you make an agreement, make sure you can get out of the agreement.
(part 2 and 3 will be published later, please watch out for the instalments, and you are free to print out to use for yourself, but remember , this is copyrighted and so please do not sell th scripts as well as the ideas to others).
Recommended reading : Thiswas written by me a few yearsa go, and is very similar to the above: ‘This is how politics is played’ . Memorise this would help anyone in parties, tongs, NGOs, and some clan associations…BTW, this has been and remains to be one of the top ten posts of this blog.
Dr. Hsu's forum 
Oct 28, 2009 @ 14:27:11
klm,
Firstly, thank you for this well written guide.
This is to budding politician what ” A Guide to Medicine”is to the medical students.
You should expand on it and publish it , and you will be more famous than ” Thick Black Theory” author.
This can also be used in corporate politics, get a publisher in the States to do it, and it will sell better than ‘Julius Caeser’,..
As a observant person walking just outside the power of the corridor, I can vouch the usefulness of this. I have seen an ex-Head doing all the above, and the present Head also learning to do the same old thing..
The spies are called eunuch politics (I will probably wirte one on eunuch politics in Chinese and get it published in China or Taiwan), and the 2 books can be complementary to each other and perhaps both of us, together with monk, can open a tuition school for those wishing to go up in politics..
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 15:02:13
Dr. Hsu. Agreed . We can be the Jedi Masters For Upcoming Politicians. You, me and Monk and everybody who are interested. All we need is a small percentage of the sweetening money they get from the Office.
And I know cilipadi will throw up after reading the preamble. 🙂
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 15:12:59
If these are what politics are all about in Malaysia, then forget about contributing our views in blogosphere since politicians are the dirtiest, by no chance Dr. Hsu’s writings will change their mindsets. Their priorities are to play politics, constantly being suspicious of their surroundings. Where got free time to read articles and comments in blogosphere.
If this is what all of us agree, we might as well go our own ways, stop writing, stop commenting, forget about virtual world, and do other better things.
You mean to say our livelihood are in the hands of these unscrupulous leaders / politicians? What hope do we have then?
Come on, not all politicians are like that ….
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 15:29:31
ATm
It is true that most of the top politicians in both divide play this type of politics.
We are just being sarcastic when we talked about this course….
Look at MCA. Look At PKR in Sabah.. Even AI wants only those obedient to him… not necessary able to win votes… He even goes against the grassroots sentiments to appoint someone that nobody likes in Sabah…Look at Rocket’s history since the 70s… how many disobedient leaders have been axed… not all are bad, in fact , many are good people..ANd why Zul Noordin is not disciplined and none of the PKR people said anything about Zul, because the most important criteria is loyalty to the Boss; if you have that loyalty, you can do anything and get away with that..Sad but true.
Read Haris IBrahim ‘s post on Sabah, and he is telling the truth…
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 15:47:27
Dr. Hsu,
“… not all are bad, in fact , many are good people..”
Then, why not group all good people together and set up a new one…..and you one of them, but not necessarily you lead.
I said before, Sabah and Sarawak politics are different ball games altogether. In fact, they are more liquid than Peninsular here. AI should leave them alone….
Another thing, don’t discount what I mentioned, Umno is “master strategist”. They don’t care about ethics, so long they achieve the results they want…… No source of news is impartial, not even MI and Mkini, read directly to their blogs as well, and of course, not to buy wholesale. With Umno in power, there is no level playing field…..
What else or choice can we do with Umno around? I would say, I just blindly give my vote to PR coming elections without looking at how good they are. Just put them there, and see how they perform. If not satisfied, then vote them out, simple as that.
Meanwhile, just close our eyes, and go for PR, that it is.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 16:04:18
In the West, such politicking was ver common during the time of the ROman Republic, and in CHina, you see this sort of politicking even in the Story of the three Kingdoms.
But the recent opera played by U-turn Ong, DVD-Chua and Brutus Liew were the most blatant… All decency was discarded and every trick in the book was emplyed, just to keep oneself in power.
There were some very good politicians , especially in the West, people like Abraham Lincoln, WInston CHurchill (who had changed sides many times not as katak, but out of policy difference),And even Thatcher .. But Thatcher was also played out by a palace coup and did not win the first round of votes and called ot quit because she did not want to contest the second round and split the conservatives.
Deng and CHou En Lai were great leaders, but they too had to learn to protect themselves to survive so that they ccould implement their pragmatic approach..
Who would think of utilising the youngsters, the Red Guards, some of them only 15 to 16, to go against thier own family members and even their parents, in the name of revolution( but actually to consolidate Mao’s position in the 60s)? That would be unscrupulous to most of us, but to Mao, it was a matter of maintaining his tight grip in CHina.. ANd the red guards lasted ten years…Mao is still a great leader but I mentioned this just to show that he also employed some of the methods mentioned by klm in his guide…
Unless mankind can be taught to put others above self, politics will always be the art of the possibles, a euphemism for ‘politics is dirty’.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 16:09:52
dr hsu,
you should also write about eunuch politics in gerakan……such as the one with the name goay for LKY and his prince.
as i know now, in gerakan there are 2 camps. Ex-president and the new president camp. Names????
Everyone in gerakan know.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 16:27:15
AtM
Sorry to disappoint you. What Dr. Hsu said is true.
I did not invent those things in the writeup. I just try to make fun of it. It is a mixture of Mahatir, Anwar Ibrahim, Smay vellu. Lim Keng Yaik etc. If you read the Romance of The Three Kingdom, like what Dr. Hsu said, it is all there.
I noticed that the only politician who do not follow this is Badawi. He just did nothing. He allowed his supporters to do everything. In the end just got chucked out. He showed the power of incumbency. Just like MCA, it is not easy to throw out OTK. The 3 mouseketeers have no choice but to show they mean business. They are going to die anyway.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 16:40:28
klm,
The 3 mouseketeers know they are gonna case… They are now figthing for their survival, but perception is everything in politics, and the perceptions are they are the brutuses… and brutus never rose to become Caeser… despite killing Julius Caeser..
I think the party fight is far from over, and the combination and permutation will still be plaed out..But with Ong and Sexy-Chua joining forces, it would be difficult for others to dislodge them,… but later, Dvd chua may stab turn ong at the back , who knows? With all these fights, i wonder who is going to go into the bottom of PKFZ? The sarawak guy must be hoping that te fight can drag on as long as possible….
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 16:57:59
Put it this way, let say we agree that “politics is dirty” and the rules above are applicable to a politician to survive and move on to the top by whatever means.
The thing here is this, let them do whatever, good or bad within their political set-up, but so long as their dirty tactics are confined to their parties, and not result in common rakyat as sacrificial lambs, let them do what they want to satisfy their ego. I have no qualm on that.
There are always two sides of a coin. Mao Tze Dong maybe wrong with his iron fists, but at least he achieved something great for China. Without him, I don’t think China will not be today. He did wrong in many things at micro level, but at macro level, he is still something great until today. Same thing applies to Chou En Lai and Deng Xiao Ping. One needs to be tough and shrewd to maintain cohesiveness in the organisation, to maintain discipline of comrades. That is what a leader needed.
I don’t seethis quality in Umno, MCA, Gerakan, MIC. They can be unscrupulous within themselves, let them fight and we just enjoy the shows. But, while they performing the shows, they forget their duties entrusted to them, worse still, mismanaged the country’s resource.
As what will transpire if PR takes over from Umno, no one knows but at least one regime of 50 plus years is gone down into history. At least, a new hope is there, and start afresh.
At times, we read about PR internal squables and may confuse whether PR is the right choice. But, between “not-so-fresh”, and “rotten” apples, I still choose the “not-so-fresh” apple, i.e. PR. At least, my direction is clear and live still goes no.
Just do a head count of good, not-so-good, not-so-bad and bad politicians of both divide, PR still wins hands down, so?
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 17:18:49
“There are always two sides of a coin.”
This is the general rule.
As usual, they are exceptions to the rule…. both sides of a coin are bad, i.e. Um… Bn….
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 17:38:42
AtM.
If you want to be in politics and do some good, you really have no choice. A dead man cannot achieve anything except to fertilise the soil. Without power, a politician gets nothing done. To get power, you have to play the dirty games. To stay in power, you have to to play the same game. No angel can make the mark.
If the politician use the power to do good, then the citizens will benefit. Chinese history is full of stories of its emperors, who were essentially politicians. Some were good and improved the lives of the peasant. Some were bad and made the lives of the citizen miserable,
Today, we the citizens have our 2 sen worth of say. We should use it wisely.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 17:52:44
This is exactly how politics is being played. Unfortunately, none of the MCA and Gerakan politicians ever attained the level of Lee Kuan Yew where he demonstrated his mastery skill at its unrivaled stage. Three of the characteristics manifested were : 1. Decisiveness, 2. Never give your enemy slightest chance to survive, 3. Act with great faith of himself. Thats what I gathered after reading his memoir.
Purely on politics, Najib is smarter than Badawi. There is reason why PR cannot regain its offensive position but fall back to be defensive. but it is not even reach 15 minutes interval of the football game. It still got 75 minutes left. Coaches with Ferguson or Wenger’s statue will definitely able to turn the game to his advantage. Question now is : Does PR has someone with a brain as brilliant as Mao Tze Dong that could revolutionised the country with a little red book and an army of teenages. It looks harmless but is deadly when it strikes.
I am waiting the arrival of the HERO while enjoy reading the 4 epics of Chinese literature namely, The water Margin, Romance of the Three Kingdom, The Red Chamber Dream and Journey to The West.. Of course i won’t left out The confession of an economic hit man to find out how an economic is being played and poor countries were constantly on US chopping board.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 17:58:33
The final strategy of a Master Politician is to liquidate every politician.
Then no more problem.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 18:10:36
klm,
“Without power, a politician gets nothing done”
I agree totally
“To get power, you have to play the dirty games.”
I agree but not totally. Dr. Hsu is an exception, if he really wants to try out. Put Dr. Hsu and back door minister KTK to contest for President, Dr. Hsu will win hands down without campaigning actively.
“To stay in power, you have to to play the same game.”
I am not so sure, let’s try out Dr. Hsu, hahahaha
“2 sen worth of say”
Yes, though only 2 sen, it can become a handsome sum if volume is huge….Let’s do it
“Chinese history is full of stories of its emperors”
China is a big country. Being big, it makes a huge different in the world stage. Malaysia, in a way, so tiny, yet can be “famous” for wrong reasons.
Singapore, a tiny red dot, yet “famous” for good reasons.
Politicians can be dirty, but they can still make their respective countries great. China is too big to compare, let’s compare with Singapore. Singapore can do that, why not Malaysia?
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 18:33:29
I agree with CYC. Lee Kuan Yew is a master politician. Can you say his hands are clean? Obviously not. The way he used the communist party and then turned on them is classic. But he used the power to do good for Singapore. Hence the bright red dot.
Unfortunately in MCA and Gerakan, there are no leaders who can even polish Lee Kuan Yew’s shoes.
Many of you may not agree with me, KJ is probably the closes, but unfortunately he is turned to the dark side. UMNO itself do not want him.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 18:59:22
I have said this many times, I still maintain that a good and effective leader requires 3 attributes:
1. Charisma
2. Intellect
3. integrity
Does the good doctor fit into this?
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 22:39:52
Cilipadi, my friend,
You have any 2 sen worth of cilipadi’s opinion?
There is no comparison of peninsular politicians qualified to be in comparison with LKY….not even 0.0001 %.
And comparing with mainland China? Ours still wearing diapers in pre-kindergarten session.
Statesmen are dead long time ago. Buried in the archives.
Kim, good observation lah, another PhD for you.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 22:47:44
No. 18 If you enemy manages to get the “football” and going to shoot……make sure you “shift” the goal post fast enough for a penalty. Blow the whistle and accuse your rival of foul play.
Kim, hope you don’t mind me continuing…….
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 22:49:54
Justin. I agree with you that Charisma, Intellect and Integrity are 3 key attributes to get to the top. However, we have to look more closely at the integrity attribute. The question is integrity of what?
A person do not get to the top of the political pile without a vision, a something that drive him to want to be there. An exception of course is Badawi and some others that we can find only in Malaysia.
I side track a bit here to make a point.
When Badawi became minister, he was asked what it meant to him. He answered as nothing – it is just a promotion. He had no vision on what he want to do as PM. So Badawi was an anomaly. Mainly, because Dr. M wanted somebody who was dumb to be there. Badawi did not fight to get there. But he fought to try to stay at the top.
When Tamby Chik was appointed CM of Melaka. He immediately came out with a 20 year plan for Melaka. When Ali Rustam was appointed CM of Melaka. he had nothing and he still had nothing for Melaka.
The above were comments from a friend in UMNO.
A good and effective leader has integrity to his vision, his goal. He will do anything to achieve it, including playing dirty politics to get rid of obstacles and sharks who want his place.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 22:53:40
disgusted. Please do. The more the merrier. This is a symphony of immorality (oops! cilipadi). I like to continue to add some more points. In fact, I am enjoying the show in MCA and hope to pick up a few tricks from there.
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 23:26:55
monk,
Here my 2 cents worth. Just take away nationality of leaders of various countries, many world leaders, politically and economically, are Chinese.
Chinese people are basically the same people, in China or outside China. How to compare LKY with Umno people?
Someone is right, Singapore is so tiny, still is more well known for same reason.
Peninsular also got Chinese people like those bananas in MCA. Lousy breed of Chinese people, porn star, womaniser, brutus, NATO also can be leaders. I would stuff their smelly assholes with cilipadi if possible.
If fair chance exist, of course Malaysia is much different from now.
9 emperors in here can’t compare to even half emperor of China…..
Chinese eat cili, MCA bananas rasa pedas
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 23:38:49
Morality is not important? Fine, if this is what you say. Don’t blame your son or daughter to do a ‘brutus’ to yourself then, if you are just unlucky.
That’s the reason for perception, “politics are dirty”……. why? Because morality is not important to you, not me.
I am firm, MORALITY IS IMPORTANT in politics. Someone needs to jump start morality in politics. No? See what you see now.
I stay here for so long, I know.
someone makan cili, someone rasa pedas
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Oct 28, 2009 @ 23:50:15
19 Launch an aggressive public propaganda blitz to paint oneself a hero, woo public opinion and boost self image as hero. Paint every else a crook especially engaging cyber troopers to character assassination your rivals. Brainwash the public so they believe hook, line ans sinker whatever you say.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 00:11:27
20 Engage the best of the best feng shui masters. One from Taiwan, Bangkok, China and Singapore. Re-arrange your house and office. Innovate if you have to. Wear beads around your neck, wrist and legs if possible. Show it in public as though you have the best morality. For show.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 01:12:14
aiyo, it is again a laughable state assembly sitting drama again in perak !
You call that a state assenmbly of our honourable elected representative??
aiyo, when will this stop? can they implement the so call state budget that was being approved by the BeeNder??
spot red
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 02:34:27
klm
thanks i need this.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 10:17:16
monk
I like your input. I put your ideas in a more cynical way.
18. If your enemy hijack your ball, move the goal post and cry foul. Who say you have to play fair.
19. In politics, perception is everything. The people expect a hero in white shining armour in you. So make yourself to look like one. While at it, make everyone else look like crooks. That way you will shine like the sun.
20. People expect high morality from you. Give them what they want to see. Wear beads, put flowers behind your ear, pierce your nose. Perception is everything.
20. You are doing a dangerous job. You need all the luck you need. Chinese fenshui, Indian vasthy, bomoh and Thai magic. Use them all. Even if these do nothing for you, they will scare your enemies.
Hey, cilipadi. morality is good. morality if needed.
We are just having fun with immorality.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 10:50:15
21. call yourself a saviour of the people… Utter the right thing but not necessary do the right things. Even better call yourself a saviour of your race.
22. When beseiged and involved in party fight, use eloquent language to say that you would rather die standing then kneeling down living, even when the latter is the norm for you.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 11:46:55
Dr. Hsu. If PR had apply rule 20 with the Freedom Tree in Ipoh, put some Indian magic things and Malay bomoh things around the tree and the plaque, Bandaraya would not dare touch it. This would scare BN away. :)I
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 17:14:36
23 Draft the best press statement for publicity. In front of cameras, hug and give your rival a kiss (peck) on the cheek if possible to show you are compassionate and forgiving. But remember, once over, use the most devious ways to get back or stab them deep deep at their backs.
24 Ignore the party constitution and if in doubt, refer to number (22) (note Dr Hsu’s guide) and convince your audience. But the greatest achievement is to kill your own conscience. Warning not easy at first. Once you succeeded, it is peanuts after that. If difficult, put your conscience in a safe deposit box in a bank.
25 You need plenty of donations and funds, always open an account overseas in a strange country, preferably not an english speaking country. Makes detection difficult. Like Japan or Korea.
26 Never open up to the truth> Keep lying to yourself so that you can even believe your own lies. Very important. Otherwise you will forget your own lies. There is no lie detector test conducted in a country of liars. You are safe. Even if you see the prime minister, eternally deny it. Just said you go to seek his blessings. Hypotise yourself, you are superman.
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 21:54:07
Someone say the police sueeze his ball
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 22:47:18
There are those who say I have gone underground to ‘escape punishment’ for the allegation I made against Najib and Rosmah in relation to the Altantuya murder. That’s what they want to make you believe. But this has nothing to do with my sedition or criminal defamation trials. I have gone underground because I know they want to detain me without trial under the Internal Security Act to stop me from getting further evidence on how the police helped cover up the facts behind the Altantuya murder.
But the facts will not remain hidden for long. Before Christmas this year the facts will surface. Malaysians will be told the truth behind the Altantuya murder. Malaysians will see the evidence of how Musa Hassan and the Malaysian police made sure that Najib would become the Prime Minister instead of sitting in jail for conspiracy to cover up an act of murder.
It is too late for them to stop us now. Even if I disappear today it will not prevent the facts from surfacing. The last eight months that I spent underground were not to idle my time away. The facts are all now in. We are just putting everything together into a neat little package to present to Malaysians. And, once we present it to Malaysians, everyone will see the role Musa Hassan and the police played in covering up the murder of Altantuya to save those behind the murder from being sent to jail.
http://mt.m2day.org/2008/content/view/28167/84/
This is fierce, man …
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Oct 29, 2009 @ 23:30:00
Raja Petra Kamarudin
No, today, it is not going to be a long cheong hei article. Today, it is going to be short, though not sweet. Today is about how my son is going to be turned into collateral damage.
To those who walk in the corridors of power, I wish to inform you that I know you are beating up my son in the Sungai Buloh Prison. Every day he is being subjected to beatings to force him to withdraw his not guilty plea and to plead guilty to the various charges he is facing.
I also know he is being subjected to these daily beatings to force him to withdraw his not guilty plea and instead plead guilty because there is no evidence against him and the charges are merely trumped-up charges.
Furthermore, I know he is being threatened with six additional charges to the ones he is already facing and he is being beaten up to force him to plead guilty to these charges as well.
My son has informed me he can no longer stand these daily beatings and he wants to plead guilty to the charges. I have advised him to do so although we both realise that this means he will be spending at least ten years or so in jail.
My son is aware he is being subjected to this torture to induce me to surface and he is prepared to plead guilty and spend ten years in jail if that means it will save me from the powers-that-be.
Today, Barisan Nasional is in power so it has the power of life and death over its citizens. Well, who knows, one day Barisan Nasional might be kicked out and Malaysia will see a new government.
Those behind the effort of torturing my son with these daily beatings had better hope that Barisan Nasional stays on as the government for a long, long time to come. If not, and if Barisan Nasional falls, then rest assured it will be retribution time and all those people who are using my son to get to me will be made to pay for it.
And, please, this is not a threat. This is a promise. And that is all I wish to say about the matter.
http://mt.m2day.org/2008/content/view/28119/84/
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