It must be lonely to be old !

It must be lonely to be old

Updated version which I sent to MI .

JAN 1 — My late father drove a car until the very day he died of a heart attack at the ripe old age of almost 90. He got his heart attack not while driving, but in his sleep.

When he was 78, I used to tell him that he should consider taking buses and taxis and stop driving. Not that he was a bad driver; on the contrary, being old, he drove very carefully and always stuck to the official speed limits. He also never ventured to KL from PJ; for that he always took the bus — there was no LRT then.

He drove mainly for certain errands like going to the bank, to the market and to his barber, all around the neighbourhood. Being careful, he never had an accident, not even a scratch on his car.

I was however worried that at his age his reflexes might not be that good and that he might hurt himself and others, if an accident did occur.

He replied that he was OK, and he had never had an accident before. Well, being an investor, I quoted the maxim of investing to him that ”past performances do not guarantee the future”. A past safety record would mean nothing if something happened, I said to him.

So we had this debate again and again. When he was in his 80s, still strong and walking as fast as me, and even able to travel to Huangshan in China on his own, we had this argument again.

I remember him saying this: ”Well, why are you always bringing up this issue when the government gives me a driving licence and renews it every year for me? If the government renews my licence, why should I stop driving? Legally I am recognised as fit to drive.”

Do you know that the Road Transport Department will renew your driving licence even when you are 80 and does not require you to go for a medical checkup (for saloon cars then, at least during the ‘90s; for commercial vehicles, everyone needs to go for a medical checkup).

Then some time back, I saw a documentary on TV about a woman trying to seek a restraining order on her mother from driving in the United States. The mother is more than 80 years old. The woman did it for her mother’s safety. But the mother’s argument was that she needs to drive to be mobile, to go about her normal activities, and that without the car she would be like a prisoner in her own home.

After seeing the TV documentary, I realised how much my father must have resented me for asking him to stop driving. To be old and immobile, a person would just be like a prisoner in his own home.

We have not put ourselves in their shoes. As an old man with no work, life can be very boring and to break the monotony, he needs to go out and mix around. Even saying hello to a shopkeeper means something to the old folks.

For those of us who were much younger then, we sometimes tend to neglect how our aged parents must have felt. How lonely they must be feeling even when they are staying with their own children, who have their own work to attend to.

Now that I am older and nearing retirement age, I realise that most of us did not spend as much time as we should to sit with our parents and talk to them.

My great consolation is that both my parents stayed with me until they died at a very old age. And I did attend to their every need, be it medical, social and financial. But still I thought I could have spent much more time with them. I could have accompanied my father on his various trips to China; I did not because I had just started my own practice and was working very hard then…

Once they are gone, we miss them; and the older we get, the more we would understand how they must have felt.

I hope younger people out there, who are lucky to have their parents around, will spend more time with their parents. Let them move around. If they are healthy and free of illnesses, let them continue driving, as long as the government renews their driving licence.

Chat with them, listen to them. Let them repeat their stories over and again and pretend to listen as if you are hearing it for the first time.

After all, without our parents, we would never be here. Without their upbringing, we will never be what we are today.

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35 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Richard Loh
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 17:04:39

    As one grows older one tend to get wiser. My father is now 85 years old, he drives until last year and suddenly he stop driving. When ask why, he said that his eyesight is not good.

    I am now 56 years old and I laugh to myself each time I recalled the stupid things that I had done during my younger days and some of it I feel regretted.

    From my point of view, I feel that when our children have grown up, we should let them do as they please. They have their own family to take care and to them we may be a burden if we keep pestering them. They will realised from their own experience of bringing up their own children and learn from it and that their parents may need more love and care. This may not apply to everyone. I had seen people pushing away their parents from one brother or sister to another.

    Luckily for me, I have the computer to keep me from my loneliness and from pestering my children. When my children tell me not to do this or that, I know that they are concern for my own safety.

    We want their care and love but we cannot force it on them. We can just hope that they have the sense to look after us when we can no longer look after ourselves.

    Like

  2. Fi-sha
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 17:16:35

    Dear Dr Hsu

    This article brought tears to me eyes and how i wish young people could understand their ageing parents and draw comfort and inspiration from them. Talking to them after i come back from work lifts my spirit, banish my worries and calms my aching muscles. Life is fair – no good things done to others, no matter how small they are, , especially our parents, ever wasted.

    Sometimes, all they ever want is a reason to feel useful and wanted around their children.

    Sometimes we forget that they are adults, not kids to be parent around.

    May we feel forever indebted to every single good things we have in us to our parents. Without their love and guidance, we are just like ‘layang-layang putus, terbang tinggi, tiada arah tujuan’.

    Wishing you and your beloved family Happy New Year. God bless.

    Like

  3. yb
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 18:34:47

    Hello! I am a woman, 50 years of age and single.

    Dr. Hsu, please, do not give any ideas to JPJ on age restriction for driving.

    Being single, I depend a lot on my car to go places. I may even live to a ripe old age of 99 and with good health, that is the time that I will require my car most.

    Please consider the singles and those who do not have any family members to depend on. There are many!

    Oh and another thing, I am a very carefull driver too.

    Thank you.

    YB

    Like

  4. Dr Hsu
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 20:48:25

    yb

    In the above article, i have written that as long as a person can drive, I am now of the opinion that he or she should be allowed to drive.

    I will definitely defend your right to drive as long as you are healthy and fit and careful.

    Cheers.

    Like

  5. disgusted
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 21:34:29

    Lucky fellows, you all have maternal parents. Not me, I was sold for RM1000 in 57 years ago and without parents, I am what I am today. Only a foster mother, I remember. See, I am a freak.

    Like

  6. Meng
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 02:05:50

    A man as he gets older he becomes more itchified. esp if he is a rich guy. Thats the reasons why you will find many old man in massage parlour for a quickie…bored no if you know how to find time to get it going..viagra will do the trick..life is short. Well some will say life is not all about that…but they also say old man behaves like a child or in the second childhood..ya growing up to teens and have to find out more of the opposite sex what life is all about..the cycle repeats until death comes.

    Dirty oldman…no just abit corrupted in the mind to wee the time away. There are other ways to past the time..driving, drinking away, fishing, computer..sheesh…bored finally back to the fickle mind to ponder the time away. No money, no viagra…but a mental one will do!! sheesh dirty thinkingh I have…..

    Like

  7. Meng
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 02:13:45

    Disgusted, are you sure you were not smuggled in from a outside country and sold in malaysia…no offence meant!

    Like

  8. clearwater
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 10:44:02

    Dr Hsu,

    Your schoolteacher parents must have great hopes of you when you were born, naming you Dar Ren, sounding phonetically much like ‘Great Person’ in Mandarin. I am sure you fulfilled much of their expectations and it would not surprise me that you chose to stay back in Malaysia to be close to them. You are fortunate, as they are. Many of our generation born around 1950 had a difficult childhood.

    Your blog readers, while not able to lay claim on your time, energy and loyalty as could your parents, sincerely hope that you will continue your political activism to light the way to a better Malaysia; notwithstanding the adverse reaction from certain quarters to the messages in your blog. Please do keep that in mind for 2010. Your own children may decide one day to come back to serve a reformed Malaysia. That, too, is my hope.

    Like

  9. A true Malaysian
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 10:58:24

    Dr. Hsu,

    You are a good son to your father and mother, and

    You children are a good son to you as a father and your wife as a mother

    This is what I mean the cycle of good forces and should be keep going. The same cycle will be there in a larger spectrum like a country and we Rakyat can contribute to that by exercising our votes wisely, ie to vote out bad forces and vote in the good forces.

    Political landscape of Malaysia need to be changed, and it starts from our hands, our votes.

    Let us initiate this good forces from now, the first day of the year 2010.

    I wish you and all the readers here

    A HAPPY NEW YEAR

    Like

  10. serendipity hopeful
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 12:22:24

    Totally shared with you on the young not knowing how the old feel and on not spending time talking with them.

    Empathy is definitely lacking in young/old relationship. The young tend to judge things from their own angle and this is where attention needs to be paid if the young wishes to make the old happy.

    Like

  11. Dr Hsu
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 12:43:09

    clearwater,

    I was indeed lucky to have both parents living till very old age, and to the parents, even when I was 40 plus, they would still give me advice that was invaluable. The love and the advice were given unconditionally, and even though they could not physically care for us anymore during their old age, you know inside their heart, we are always their small kids and they always long to see us have a smooth passage in life. When we are upset, they are upset. That is parenthood.

    One of the persons whom I greatly admired , as I have mentioned before, was General De Gaulle, the leader of Free french, and rebuilder of France after the Second World War. He did so much for France and yet, in 1969, when a program that he advocated was defeated in a nationwide referendum, he shocked the whole world by just quitting as the president of France. He retired to a small village.After his death he could have been buried in the Pantheon (the famous Landmark in Paris where national heroes were buried), but he chose to be buried in a small grave in the small village that he retired to.

    I am no De Gaulle. I am nothing compared to all these luminaries. But I think there must come a time we stop doing what we are doing. Well, there are lots of soical econmic problems in the country, and I think maybe I can attenpt to highlight these problems, and in my simple and plain English, try to convey certain meassages to those out there.

    One bonus is that by voicing social issues, I would not be called liar, devils, ‘farts’ and evils. I can mean time save the time of defending myself and use the time to ponder , as well as use the time to speak to members of gerakan about the folly of supporting UMNO, and the pros of being a third force, emphasizing on green and envirnment as well social issues..After my term as CC ends, I will just fade away, if the party leadership does not see eye to eye with me on this important issue of being a neutral third force..

    But if there is a big issue cropping up and something which I have not covered before, I will not hesitate to pen my political views again.

    Like I said openly to our former president during the my 2007 NDC speech , that a person must know when to go up , and when to step down..

    I will attempt to make my posts on social issues AS INTERESTING AS POSSIBLE, , given my limited vocabulary and my ability to write only in Standard 6 english. Please forgive me for the not so bombastic English ( I really admire Farish Noor who can write so well in high level english), since I was from a CHinese School, and indeed, my ability to write in Mandarin is many times better than Englsih, but I believe only through English, can I reach a wider and more diverse readership.

    Like

  12. Taikohtai
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 14:28:20

    How apt to read your article on filial piety on New Year Day, a most timely reminder indeed.
    I arrived home to Gold Coast this morning after attending to my old man’s final journey on earth.
    So many relatives and friends turned up to pay their last respects and I felt most honoured that what he could not make up by material means, he more than made up by being surrounded by a vast network of social friends and philosophers!

    Have a most fruitful 2010 Doc Hsu and readers!

    Like

  13. Dr Hsu
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 14:49:24

    Taikohtai,

    My deepest condolence on your recent bereavement.

    Life on Earth is just a transient journey, and you should take comfort in that your old man is now in another dimension which is better and more peaceful.

    Rgds

    Like

  14. disgusted
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 16:30:17

    Meng, no, I am locally manufactured. Sure, my foster mother told me my “real” parents from Kampar, Perak but I don’t have the heart to look them up. What for?

    I wish I was smuggled in, but I can’t think of any theoretical country I could imaginably from.

    Korea, I wish, or Japan?

    I was worth little but my spirit is not for sale.

    Like

  15. serendipity hopeful
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 18:24:39

    Doc., welcome aboard. It is a better way to utilize your time and to cultivate a more peaceful mind.

    Like

  16. Dr Hsu
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 21:52:31

    The last three articles, a brief discourse on occupational safety, flight 253 & the breach of security, and this post It must be lonely to be old , were well read .. the discourse on occupational safety was picked up by a Bus safety website overseas, fight 253 story was picked by by City Guide to Amsterdam website, and this article It must be lonely to be old, was the most read in Malaysian Insider today.

    Social bloggings do have its usefulness and if this type of writing can bring safety, happiness, and awareness to spend more time with our elders to a few people, I think I have done my part in trying to make this a better world.

    I have also received some emails commending me on the message in this article.. Let this be the beginning of a different sort of bloggings, and helping to make the world a little bit better through the other way.

    I will continue to write on social isues, and maybe health topics as well.

    …………………………………

    these are some of the comments in MalaysianInsider and i am sure more will be posted there:

    written by dragonia, January 01, 2010
    My father is 90, and is still driving around in my kampung doing his errant. You are right. Let him do what he likes when he is so old already. My father cooks and plays with his dog, reads chinese sword fighting story books and is always on spot with the latest political news and has his fair share of critics for the politicians, and watches his favourite drama on TV everyday. And he knows how to keep himself healthy with all the supplements his grandchildren bought for him.
    +6


    written by kenu, January 01, 2010
    I will take your advice
    +4


    written by CKM, January 01, 2010
    Good sharing of your thoughts .. it awake mine , on why and what we must do. I will conciously bear them in mind as I still have a pair of lovely ones at mid 80s. God bless us all !
    +3


    written by seberang, January 01, 2010
    Commercial vehicle licensing requires an annual medical check up by doctor before granting the renewal, however this annual medical check up result can be bought with just RM6.00 without ever needing to undergo personal medical check up. This is called the fast track approval, want more details, go to the nearest driving school, they do provide such services. I kid you not.
    +1


    written by eksk, January 01, 2010
    that is the problem with the asian mentality… once you are considered old, you are considered impaired, whether its impaired physically or mentally… old people are told to take it easy don’t exert yourself, don’t do this don’t do that… i am now witnessing my grandmother being smothered to death.. all my aunties will scold her if she even show a little glint of independance.. she must not walk too much and i’m seeing her legs atrophied before my very eyes..

    i contrast this with my aunty neighbour in melbourne, this lady is in her mid eighties yet she lives alone and does everything by herself, and moves around in the city. she is so sprightly and full of zest for life..

    i guess its true , its either use it or lose it be it mentally or your physical self
    +5


    written by sleekk, January 01, 2010
    There are phases in a man’s (and woman’s) life. This is how life is made to be and meant to be. In this sense, man was never meant to live extra-ordinarily long.

    Our bodies wear out naturally and there is no escaping the effects of aging. There are some of us who try to remain young through science. Then there are those who preserve their bodies in cryogenic chambers after their deaths in the hope of being revived in the future.

    But what is purpose of doing so? If science really progressed to the point that it is possible to revive those stored in cryogenic chambers, what kind of a world will they ‘wake’ up to? There is no guarantee that the world will be better than it is now. They will have to learn a different way of live. And worse of all, everyone close and familiar to them, ie family, relatives, friends, will be gone. They will be essentially alone.

    Man must learn to be contented with life. Once our time is over, we should move on and not try to cling on. We must be very thankful if we can still move and take care of ourselves independently in our old age.

    Sons and daughters may think that they are doing it for the good of their parents but it is also restricting their independence. They failed to realize that it is sad and heartbreaking to be dependent on others. Can we even imagine the feeling of being useless and having no further purpose in life?

    So if any senior citizen is still able, let them have the dignity and pride of being independent. After all, this may be the only ‘purpose’ in life for them, ie not being a nuisance to others.
    +3


    written by John Pan, January 01, 2010
    Yes, we all need to love our parents, and make their lives meaningful and fulfilling, just as they had tried their best to make ours good. I enjoy reading this article. And, I am glad I still have mom around to love and cherish. But thanks for reminding the likes of me to do more. There is no end to what we can do in the name of love.
    +3


    written by JG, January 01, 2010
    Well said Dr. It should be a timely reminder that another year (2009) has gone, so let’s move on to the new year with new or continue those unfinished resolution and live your life without regret. Please start to spend more time with your love one before it is too late. For my own history, until today i still feel a bit regret that during my earlier career path where i was too busy with my work and spend very less time with my mom before she past away. However, i feel glad that i did do my best to spend more time with my dad and at least able to sponsor him to visit China and able to cruise his favorite Star Cruise (my dad was a sailor when he was young) during his final golden years. So, nothing is too late, if we start now!
    +1


    written by Eddy, January 01, 2010
    truly inspirational story, the same situation went to me….
    +1


    written by Ah Q, January 01, 2010
    Every one gets old and will finally call it a day which means it is the end on earth. The writer is a thoughtful and filial son who wants his father to be safe by not drving at that age not knowing that he is depriving his father from his enjoyment of life. His father if continues to remain docile and sedenary his lifestyle will be grinded to a halt which can be meaningless and he will remain unproductive. He is very blessed to have his father who is still independent physically and possibly financially. The thought of caring for the sick can be a challenge and dreadful and the Chinese saying that there will be no filial son at the sick bed when one suffers long illness is so true

    We have a wonderful country where we can learn from one another and for this it is very much noticeable that many of my Malay friends have always tried to take care of the aged parents from their homes rather than putting away in nursing homes which many Chinese are willing to pay to other care givers
    +1


    written by swipenter, January 01, 2010
    My mom is her her eighties and lives alone by choice because she values her independence and also as she puts it “respect our privacy and our own lives and families”. What she means is that she doesnt want to be caught between her children and their spouses if she is going to stay with any one of us. She has a strong character and a stubborn streak in her and a really understanding mother and woman.

    She has her circle of friends, her children, grandchildren, her pet and astro “wah lai toi” to keep her busy and occupied at different times. Ofcos we all worry about her staying alone but respect her wishes. Some of us stay in different cities but all she needs is an occasional chat over the phone and trips to see her now and then or she come to stay with us for a couple of days every couple of months.

    She keeps telling us the most important thing now to her is that her children and grandchildren are doing fine and not in any kind of trouble. Like the saying goes a mother’s work is never done; she still worries about her children’s welfare when most of us are nearing are in our mid and late fifties.
    +1


    written by sunnychua, January 01, 2010
    I completely agree with you. It is only when they are no longer around and we ourselves are growing old that we realise we have not given sufficient attention to them. My father rang me a month before his death and I knew that there was a change in the tone of his voice but I didn’t pick up the hint. I regretted not coming back to visit him(I was overseas that time) because a month later my sister rang me and said that he had a heart attack and died. I regretted my inaction until today although it is about 12 years ago. So please take good care of your parents however long winded they may sound.
    +1


    written by David Sam, January 01, 2010
    I truly appreciate your advice. Your article should be read by as many youngsters as possible. Both my children have read it again and again.
    +0


    written by Steve Oh, January 01, 2010
    I teach my children this from the Bible – “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first command with a promise – “that it may go well with you and that my may enjoy long life on earth.” I practise it myself thus phoning my father several times a week even though we live thousands of miles apart from one another and visit him often.

    Each time we speak for only a few minutes, sometimes longer, but hearing my voice is reassuring to him. He lives alone in his own house and is rather comfortable and contented with all his temporal needs provided. And he has a variety of friends he can call on for different purposes and some of them are half his age. He also has friends from church.

    My Dad is 90 and still drives to go to his favourite coffee shop in the mornings and to run chores nearby.

    What I think is needed is a sign like P-plate for elderly drivers so other motorists will be more considerate. Sometimes I think elderly drivers need that for their own protection from careless and iimpatient drivers.

    Loneliness I should point out is not something that only the elderly experience. There are many lonely people out there regardless of their age. Most suicide victims are young people and many of them suffered from loneliness.

    It is important for the elderly to have hobbies and find interesting things to do and not feel that their children have to be holding their hands all the time. It can be tough for those with young chidren of their own to take care of, demanding careers, and other relationships to maintain especially with their spouses.

    Many of our parents are not as well educated especially the older ones so it is important we do not hurt their feelings and explain why we do what we do. Communcation is the key because if it is an extended family the need for open communication is even greater. Unlike in Western society the lines of private space and family responsibilities often become obscured in Asian culture. Thus there is a natural conflict for those who tend to be Western-minded with Asian-cultured parents.

    I always encourage people to have hobbies or pursuits beyond work so that they can be useful to themselves and others as they get older.

    I don’t believe in retirement. We need time to rest, yes, but how does one retire from life itself and what is life if we are not still productive even if not in an economic sense working for people or in our own business? I retire every night.

    Fortunately my father is rather independent and prefers living on his own having survived two wives. Every elderly person is different. But I agree that children need to consider their elderly parents’ needs and take time to reassure them. As people get older they need resassurance not just money.

    Spend time with parents as we would with our children because they deserve it and it is the right thing to do. And it will benefit us too. Never think of them as a burden. My mother died at 51 a long time ago but God had better ideas for her.

    Don’t think of parents as a burden but a blessing. When I am with my Dad it makes me feel young. 90 may seem old to younger people but it is all relative. Don’t be governed by age but if the engine keeps going then keep living. After all we only live once.

    Don’t always act serious with parents. Make them laugh. Laughter is good for our health.

    I challenge my Dad to reach 100 and why not. Our God-given age is actually 120 years and scientists tell us we can also live to that age. And by 2050 there will be several million centenarians all over the globe. The teaching of four score and ten as our human lifespan is a fallacy.

    We must not only learn to live long but live with quality. After all having an abundant life is what we are promised by the Author of Life himself. If we live to make life better for others that is a good reason for staying alive.

    I bought my Dad a pair of dumbells a few weeks ago and that will help him strengthen his muscles and heart. There is no reason why the elderly cannot have an active life especially when they were active when younger.

    These are some thoughts I couldn’t help sharing and I hope all your elderly parents will be around for a long time because I’d like mine to be around for a long time yet. Still with all our good intentions ultimately God knows when our elderly parents will die but it sure is important we make our parents’ twilight years fulfilling. God bless them all.

    Like

  17. Li Li Fa
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 10:20:08

    Dr. Hsu,
    It has been a pleasure reading your above article.

    It is true that without our parents and their upbringing we would not be where we are today.

    This goes to down well as it reflects the Chinese philosophy of respecting and caring for the elderly, including our parents. Also reflected in the teachings of many other worldly wisdoms.

    Coming back to the issue of caring for the elderly, I like your part of listening to our parents eventhough they have to repeat what they say. Each time that we listen, each time is a golden opportunity for us to be near to them, relishing the golden bond between parent and offspring, understanding and realising the wisdoms of old, make life so meaningful, rich and fulfilling for both the old and young, for the parents in their twilight years and the children and grandchildren who are carrying old the torch of the next generation. Listening, thus trains one’s patience and builds up one’s thinking and ability to emphatise, and ‘step into the shoes of the speaker’.

    Many people say the X Generation does not know how to care for their aged parents, but I believe if we the parents show and do by example, then they will do likewise.

    You have given us a good example. I am sure many grandparent, parents , children and grandchildren would be blessed by it.

    Thank You.

    Like

  18. Dr Hsu
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 11:14:33

    Li Li Fa,
    thank you for your comment.

    Confucious once said that: we must respect our own elders as well as the elders of other people.

    I hope that we can extend our love and care to other elderly, especially those without children; I was fortunate that in my line of work, I come across a lot of elderly, and some of these patients have built a bond with me that some time , during festivals, they will call and wish me. that is satisfaction that money cannot buy.

    Like

  19. Dr Hsu
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 13:08:44

    monk,

    When we mention parents, they include not only your biological parents, but your foster parents who brought you up.

    I have seen many non-biological parents loving their kids as much as the biological ones.

    The toil, sweats, and efforts spent by these foster parents are no less than most biological parents.

    Like

  20. Dr Hsu
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 14:51:52

    This article has been picked up by the internet paper of Singapore

    http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/01/01/it-must-be-lonely-to-be-old/

    Those who are interested to see the comments of how our neighbours view this issue can go to the above website.

    Like

  21. a gerakan observer
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 15:22:54

    doc

    Your articles have been posted in many websites.

    I just searched the net and I came across these link using your name:

    http://anwaribrahimblog.com/2008/12/01/time-for-a-moratorium-on-the-nep-perhaps/

    http://walkwith.elizabethwong.org/?p=245

    http://www.malaysianbar.org.my/general_opinions/comments/a_master_move_hsu_dar_ren.html

    These are websites of Anwar, Elizabeth Wong and Bar Council. If the opposition leaders published your articles, why are those ‘fanatics’ die hards objecting to your writings?

    Using your example of Germany, these people are trying to kill the resistance inside Nazi Germany instead of encouraging such resistance to grow.
    Imagine Churchill killing the July plotters instead of helping them to overthrow Hitler. Real short-sighted.

    I hope to see you write more on politics. You are helping to bring change and not resist change.

    Like

  22. Dr Hsu
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 15:26:40

    a gerakan observer

    Thanks for the link.

    You can go and read political views on blogs such as romerz. They are doing a fine job.

    Like

  23. A true Malaysian
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 18:26:52

    A Gerakan Observer,

    For this article of Dr. Hsu to be published in PR or PR friendly websites, it showed “maturity” in mindset of the so-called “opposition”.

    Previously, many people do not know Dr. Hsu is a Gerakan member, I inclusive. His 1,000 plus articles alone don’t show any sign of Dr. Hsu being a Gerakan member.

    So, when people like me realised this, my immediate reaction was, “how can a righteous person can be in a BN party?”. This is the reason why many people like us have this thinking, “Why waste your time in Gerakan? It doesn’t worth your time”.

    To be frank, I don’t know why Dr. Hsu branded certain commentator(s) as “fanatics”, but at least I don’t think I am one of them. For people sharing same ideology and aspiration but with different platforms, the word “fanatics” is not proper. I certainly don’t like this word.

    If you can, can you point to me whether 1,000 plus articles of Dr. Hsu appear in any of Gerakan friendly blogs or Umno friendly websites? I can’t find. If you found one, please let us know.

    We need both PR and BN politicians to consist of “matured” personnel, not “fanatics” partisan ones.

    Like

  24. Dr Hsu
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 22:03:23

    ATm
    by 2008 dec, most people knew I am a Gerakan member.. Even the press have mentioned many times by then, NST n ST.. MT knew I am a gerakn member yet so many of my aricles were picked up in MT..I think they are not that partisan. These are people who want to effect change, and they knew I mean the samething. Even as early as Permatang pauh b election, I have openly stated that I am Gerakan member.. And after 308, I have written articles about even though my party gerakan has lost abdly, I am glad that a 2 party system has emerged. that article came out in my blog, Malaysian Insider and malaysiakini..If you google my name, you can see some of my my posts came out even in Harakah and my name was mentioned as Gerakan member. (tried the google search with my full name and do it again using yahoo and go to as far as page 20+, you can see some of the PAS websites with my views. Pleas i am not trying to sell myself but just to answer your not so fair comment above )

    By ‘fanatics’ , I meant those who are too partisan.. Just like In 2nd world war, you dont label all germans as nazis. I have posted a link qouting hstory channels, only 44% german supported Nazis when they came into power..

    They were many germans fighting the nazis, just as there were many French in the resistance movement fighting the Vichy government.

    I told romerz he picked the wrong fight. Why would you kill off the opposition inside when you should help them fight off the tyrants that you want to remove. As the gerakan observer said, why should you kill off the resistance, it is just not logical..

    I think the observer meant well when he mentioned that many of my posts were used by opposition leaders includng Anwar’s blog. He may mean that we should not be too partisan, if even if the head of opposition can use my views to campaign for support, why can’t those ordinary people who support change do the same? Why must we all be so partisan??

    I would not want to argue any more.. I have already said I would not write in this blog on political views..One friend who called yesterday to wish me happy new year told me that the most happy person is now romerz’s friend KTK, who does not have to worry about the influence of this blog among members any more..By picking his fight with me, he has done his friend a great service.. But i will carry on my fight for change through emails internally and so on.

    Please do not comment anymore on this issue, since I have already conceded ground to romerz by announcing that i will only do social bloggings. If you would not even allow me to write on social issues, then that would be too much; do not throw a stone down the well …That much I ask of you.

    (By the way, we meet in 2007 with monsterball in Summit and I have told you both that I am a gerakan member, and last year during the dinner in Duck shop, I repeat that in front of your family, just to refresh your memory .. Go through the 2007 and 2008 arguments with montersball.. so many were debate on my gerkan membership. Everything is here in black and white in this blog. Even Singapore Straits Times labelled me many times as geakan member. I am very sure PKR leaders knew about my membership since last year, because I was approached by former gerakan members in PKR many times last year saying that so and so (PKR top leaders) wanted to meet me, but i have turned down their kind gesture and said that I preferred to fight within gerakan.

    Each person has his or her own way of fighting for change. I never fault your ways and hope you dont fault mine. I can do without having to fight a 2 front war, but now that i have decided to do only social bloggings, I may have to fight only one front. We fight for the same thing, but unfortunately, some of the people are so narrowminded that they want to kill off internal resistance first..But even so, I have asked readers to read romerz’z blog if they want to read anymore political views; what more do you want?

    Like

  25. Meng
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 22:50:50

    Agree KTK is most happy.. Are you sure some commentators not working for him.

    BN and Gerakan bashing..happy all round….but when members within Gerakan bashing BN/ Gerakan..he is bashed all round too.

    Looks like readers do not like members from Gerakan bashing and attacking BN/Gerakan …what a confused scene???

    Like

  26. A true Malaysian
    Jan 02, 2010 @ 23:22:22

    Honestly, I don’t know you are a Gerakan member, when I first bumped into your blog, Dr. Hsu.

    Only after stuck with reading your blog that I realised that. Stuck because I found sincerity, conscience and truthfulness in your writings, that I found no element of doubt. If I can still remember correctly, the very first comment if about your piano and on “snatch body” article. I tried to find your archives, but failed.

    Rest assured I will not raise your worthiness being in Gerakan from now on, I just want to trash out your comment that mentioned my “not so fair” comment above.

    Anyway, I congratulate PR value your thoughts. That’s showed they are of more matured politicians.

    Like

  27. disgusted
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 00:23:25

    Dr, you are right, foster parents are parents. I agree.

    Growing for some can be lonely especially those in old folks home, even if they live among others. It is bitterness when they know their children no longer wants them.

    Old people have memories and the road “behind” them has been a long road while the road “ahead” can be slippery and short.

    But it is a journey for everybody. It is tough to be physically alone and we better be psychologically prepared. One can be lonely even among a crowd.

    It is the “inner” loneliness that is tough to face. But most monks can face it.

    Even a fake (I was called) like me, is used to it.

    Like

  28. clearwater
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 06:01:46

    Dear fellow commentators,

    Politics may have again claimed another casualty in Dr Hsu’s decision to refrain from an excess of political blogging. I think we should all respect his decision, regrettable though it may be. As an intensely private person, I can understand his personal reasons and do not fault him at all.

    I am thankful he will continue to blog on socio-economic and other issues of public interest so that his intelligent rational views are not lost to us. As for other ‘political’ blogs, I find most to be too partisan one way or another. They may be justified in taking their position but it is too imbalanced most of the time. I shall miss Dr Hsu’s moderating influence.

    Like

  29. avatar
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 09:35:45

    Dr Hsu
    I have never commented in your blog but I think I need to comment now.

    I am a student doing my master in university overseas. I thought your views and opinions are moderate, as the above commentator has said.

    I just want to say that there is a proverb “There are many roads to Rome”. Your aim is for change, the ‘fanatics’ aims are for change. I read your blog, and it is full of messages for change.

    Why the need to silence you? I cannot understand the logic. Is asking for change the sole prerogative of certain people only? Is there only one road to Rome or Putrajaya? You are right to call them fanatics.

    Hope you will continue to pen your thoughts. It is a source of information and learning for us overseas. Be in overseas can be very lonely at times.

    Like

  30. Dr Hsu
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 11:13:48

    monk,
    It is true.

    Loneliness is an ‘inner’ thought. Some people staying alone would not feel lonely, but some who are among friends and relatives are lonely.

    It is how rich they feel inside their heart. If they are bitter , they will most likely be feeling lonely inside.

    Some people professed to be religious and have religious websites teachings others, but i find that they cannot even remove their own emotions– emotions of hatred , emotions of feeling sorry for themselves; so it is a case of the blind leading the blind.

    It is how people view lives and how to do away with emotions. We mortals are finding it hard to be totally emotionless and calm. That is why we remain as mortals.

    Like

  31. A true Malaysian
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 12:25:32

    Old age loneliness will be a huge problem for many Malaysians, especially those with children studying and working in overseas. Being “religious” doesn’t mean you are less “emotional”. “Attachment” is the one who make a person “emotional” which leads to “suffering”. I believe, that is why monk and nun keep their simple lives, but that doesn’t mean they are not “emotional”.

    Human is still human, perfections are not there in lives. Blind leading the blind is true in this sense, but, when a blind leads not with emotion, he can still leads. A “blind” can be a religious teacher, a political party member and so on and so forth.

    Disregard all facts, the cycle of Born (生) , Aged (老), Sickness (病) and Death (死),cannot be avoidable, even if you don’t regard yourselves as “Buddhist”, as in essence there should be no such thing as Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Taoist or whatever. They are just “labels” to me.

    How true, Buddhism.

    Like

  32. observant
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 14:51:41

    First of all, let me congratule you for achieving a milestone in blogging. A thousand postings are no easy feat. No doubt you have had amassed a large followings who eagerly await your dosage of well written post.

    It is sad to note that your wished “Proggressive 2010 ” will see you coming out with more subdued write-up instead of the usual addictive & more exciting stuff that we`re more accustomed to.

    We, mere mortals are lively because we are of emotions, different and sensitive. We are not able to cut off our emotional attachment, therewise we feel disappointed, disillussioned or let down when the chips are down or presumed support not forthcoming.

    Change takes time and we must give it a chance to realise. Too haste could be a waste.

    Like

  33. avatar
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 14:52:37

    Dr Hsu

    The web ranking site technorati.com ranked your blog higher than many other bloggers.

    Just did a search:

    You have 426 authority and ranked 9609 in the world.

    Susan Loone has 422 authority and ranked 10650

    Haris Ibrahim has 417 authority and ranked 11715

    romerz’s was not ranked.

    Your blog’s spread is much wider and more website linking to you than many Malaysian blogger.

    Hope you reconsider blogging for change. It has far wider influence and more moderate.

    The authority measures how many blogs are linking to you during the last 6 months.

    Like

  34. pck
    Jan 05, 2010 @ 21:17:28

    Dr Hsu
    I fully agree with you that younger people out there should spend more time with their parents. Don’t wait until it is too late.子欲养而亲不待, 那是人生最大的遗憾.

    Like

  35. JC
    Jan 06, 2010 @ 01:19:08

    Dr Hsu

    What an excellent read, comments and article!! Personally I tend read your blog when compared to others as I can feel sincerity coming from your goodself. I do not feel you have to concede to others, but knowing what we know and then there are your rights to be respected…. However I do hope you will keep on blogging even if its only on social issues. I do not comment much but will make sure I visit you blog and recommend it to others.

    Like

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